Tag Archives: Humor

Another sketch

A group of studens prepare the project for presentation which is due today by 7pm. By 11:49am last member (let’s call her Elaine) posts her part (a Word file, 45 pages of double-spaced text) on discussion board for other people to review. She’s unemployed, so she finished the whole thing in the morning and posted as soon as she’s done.

The events unfold as follows:

11:49am Elaine: Guys, please review the file and let me know what you think.

12:14pm Kym: I think I can’t review the 45 page document while at work, that’s what I think!

12:35pm Ron: Can’t do, working…

12:59pm Elaine: Come on, you can spare 20 minutes of your time to skim the paper!

1:23pm Ron: Negative, working…

1:33pm Kym: Elaine, we are all at work, some people don’t even have time to check the board, not to say review the paper

1:39pm Elaine: Why don’t you want to take a look, it’s only 20 minutes. When I was working I could always spare 20 – 30 minutes…

1:43pm Vic: And remind me again, why are you still unemployed?

Stress test

As I was walking to make connection from green line to the yellow line on 14 Street – Union Sq I noticed a stand that sold books about stress management. A guy stopped me and offered free stress test. Behind him I noticed a beautiful young lady sitting at the desk with books and apparently either selling or giving free advice.
– Do you want to get a frees stress test?
– No, but I would like to schedule a date with the cute girl behind you.
– That’s my wife, I doubt she would be interested.
– See, that’s the problem, you can’t get any good stress these days…

Dumb and dumber…glamour edition

drugoi пишет:
Восковая фигура Парис Хилтон в нарядном розовом жакете заняла свое место в нью-йоркском музее Мадам Тюссо(http://www.livejournal.com/users/drugoi/1351213.html)

Во вчерашней amNY фотку Парис Хилтон и ее воскового двойника опубликовали с надписью Dumb and Dumber. Восковая Хилтон оказалась под надписью Dumb…

College thoughts

Еще мысли со вчерашнего урока литературы…

– He’s in hell, but he’s alive…
– Well, that’s a good start.

Being fat is a new way to get society’s attention and people’s money

Women who complain that man pay too much attention to them are usually deprived of it. Women who say they don’t get enough attention are actually getting too much attention. That’s why matriarchy didn’t survive – no government can sustain such crappy teamwork.

Given that God is a man, the Woman is the most sophisticated entity man ever created. Women can outsmart any device, even the simplest ones. If a woman can’t circumvent something, she can employ one of two proven winning strategies: she can cry or she can complain the device to death…